Autumn in (upstate) New York

With friends up from Brooklyn this weekend, I took a small break to enjoy some autumn. We picked (and ate) many apples on a beautiful, sunny Sunday. And on the way home, we happened upon a soapbox derby. It was a pretty good weekend.

Inspiration

As usual, I find myself right around the corner from our Indie Market and I've hardly noticed the time slipping away. The autumn has come, distracting me with its beautiful blue skies and crunchy walks. B is still away, distracting me with an empty home. Amidst all of this, my needles have remained fairly inactive. Or, I should say, uninspired. Each project and idea I put to them has finished (or not, in many cases) with something lacking. And the passion I usually have to work through the bumps and troubles is hard to find. My heart is elsewhere.
I'm now at a crossroads. Push through and have faith that I will find my missing inspiration? Or admit a small defeat and focus my energies on making a stellar show for the rest of our vendors?
This weekend I will host a couple of houseguests. Old friends who are never short on wisdom, inspiration, and laughter. I look forward to seeing them, however briefly.
And I look forward to a clearer head.

A new dawn, a new day...

I've been feeling a little out of control lately. Affected by change left and right, but none of my own doing. I've just been an unwitting part of the wake.
So, to help myself stay afloat in these choppy waters, I aggressively re-arranged my entire apartment recently. Almost every piece of furniture has a new home, and for many, a new purpose.
We have a kitchen table, again, and I'm so happy for that. I can't wait for B and I to have dinner there. It's small and simple; perfect for us.
And, in a few days, I will acquire a bed for our spare room, which has me giddy. I don't mind sharing a little "studio" space to be able to offer a cozy spot to a guest. Anyone up for a sleepover?
It has been wonderful feeling to wake up in the mornings and start my days in this beautiful, fresh space, and I still get excited to come home in the evenings. It's amazing how a few simple changes to my space have given me a super-charged boost. Rearranging my bedroom was a favorite pastime of mine as a child, and it's reassuring to know the same feelings apply as an adult.
I'm off now to enjoy my space a bit, to bake molasses cookies (to try to convince a friend that not all vegan baked goods are terrible), and to help a good friend's 31st birthday be a little more awesome.
I'm feeling good.
K

All at the same time.

I've been stuck in a whirlwind. Change has been coming from every direction, and I'm spinning all around. And with H.M. gone, it's all that much more unfamiliar.
But, I found a small bit of peace this afternoon during my lunch break. Work has been anything but calm lately, but a short walk along the wooded path that runs beside an old Erie Canal lock just behind my building offered a bit of respite. The warm breeze was a perfect compliment to the bright sun, and a perfect escape for me.
I love this time of year. There are already a few leaves crunching underfoot, yet quite a few bees are hovering around the still-blooming Queen Anne's lace, just beside bunches of dried and brown blooms. There's so much going on, so much overlapping of life and decay. So much change.

It is a good reminder to me that it's okay that everything is changing. Change keeps balance.

Happy Weekend.

Some bits of happiness.

We took our breakfast to go, and ate in the woods, among the birds and deer.
It was as lovely a way to say goodbye as there is.
Some sunflowers to cheer me up. I'm mesmerized by their spiral centers.
A clean house, a full pantry, wonderful friends, and a head full of ideas and patterns.
I think these next few months will go by quickly.
And happily.

It's Time!

We at Second Storie announced today our Vendor List for 2010's indie market, and we must say, we think it's pretty great!!!
Here's a look at some of our newest vendors, and you can check out the whole awesome list here.

Left to right from top:
Cecelia Hayes, Previously
Humunku, Sweetie Pie Press
Harriot Grace, Paperdoll Woodshop
The Great Lakes, Sara Silvio
Red Prairie Press, Bookhou

Getting By

As H.M. prepares to leave (for 2-3 months), I prepare to be alone in this space of ours. He will be back home in Israel, visiting with family, friends, and hoping for some respite from his blues here.* I hope for the same as I stay here.
I have been spending time in the kitchen. Baking bread, enjoying the meditation of kneading by hand. Using the last of the fresh cherries for a cinnamon-cherry tart, loving the dark stains left on my fingers.
Taking a break from the once-meditative-but-now-grueling baby blanket, I cabled up a sleeve for my new computer. It felt so good to work in thick yarn and marvel at the speed. Next up, some swatching for what I hope to be a new line of items for my etsy shop (what's that? I have an etsy shop? Why, yes, I do. I'd almost forgotten!) and for our second storie} indie market this year. (The announcement of our vendor list will be here tomorrow. It's pretty awesome.)

Today, with the sun and blue skies poking through the white fluffy clouds, I wonder if I will find my enthusiasm again. It's been missing lately. My head has been with me in the kitchen pitting cherries, and with my fingers as I knit, but my heart has been distant. A little hesitant.
Perhaps this is just the emotional equivalent of the calm before the storm. My emotions are still and quiet, knowing that soon there will be a fury of sadness when H.M. leaves.
Today, though, has promise, beginning with fresh bread, toasted with jam, and a cup of tea.


*I should mention that most of what he will be doing back in Israel is work-related, and that he's not going on a 2-3 month vacation without me. I need to keep reminding myself of this.

Grey morning, Bright afternoon

I woke up this morning to grey skies outside the window, and quietness inside. A slow, internal morning.
H.M. and I spent a long time together yesterday, laying in the grass, brushing the tickling ants off from our arms and feet, talking and dreaming about what's to come. We dream of land. Of a horse named Esteban. Of freshly lain eggs. Of fruit trees {and the consequent jars of jam} and an endless garden. Of mountains in the distance. Of a comforting, creaking old house, filled with love beyond the two of us... The more we have this talk, the more real it becomes.
{sigh}
Yet, here I am now, in my tall apartment above a small city, trying to figure out how and when my now and then will connect. And if.

This afternoon's mail brought a lovely, unexpected, and perfect package from a friend who always knows when I need a little sunshine and love. A little dose of reality. And the sun has begun to peak out from the grey clouds.