11.10.2008

finding more than time


i find it very easy to push aside my knitting for what intends to be a short time while i work on the more pressing tasks of any given day, knowing that at the very least i can squeeze a few rows in during charlie rose before i go to sleep. but too often even that feels labored and forced for fear of guilt...
this is not right. i do not knit to not feel guilty for not knitting. i knit because i love the process. i love the making. i love the pattern. i love the knitting. it is mathematical and it is creative. it is what i am made for.
yet i push it aside with little hesitation. i easily take it for granted that i can push hold on this and be able to un-hold again later, picking right up where i've left it.
but it rarely works this smoothly.
i know i am not the only one who struggles with this balance. the ever-shifting fulcrum plagues us many. yet i feel so naked when my humanity shows.
k

3 comments:

MeganMonday said...

yes! this is part of it, isn't it? the balance, or lack of it... maybe i'm just having trouble shifting from pause to play... :)

karen said...

this discussion we've been having has been on my mind a lot...
when i was young thinking ahead to life as an artist, i forgot to think about life as an adult.
i'm still pretty happy, though...

melissa said...

so, so true.

i'm glad i've found your little space :)