living and enjoying

i've been performing some wonderful feats of escape lately... from what am i trying to get away? the answer changes daily, and the success is varied. maybe overall i'm just trying to escape from the looming sense that i want a better idea of what's going to happen than i really have.
where does this idea that i need to know how it all works out even come from? surely my logic tells me that no one knows, that we're all floundering. and if we're all in the same state of disarray, grasping for something safe, then we're all just as easily in the same perfect state of calm, sure footing abound.
there must be some comfort in this? scratch that. there is much comfort in this.
it is humans who love company, not misery. and i have loved my company of late.