there is change. there is life.

i have spent my past week amid changes... they are subtle and significant, the most ponderous kind.

change is lately such a common word (especially when our next president is campainging on it) that i often lose sight of it's impact. we are ever-changing in so many, so many ways. our universe is continually expanding at an unfathomably-rapid rate. earth is in a constant state of movement, of evolution as we hurl on through time. our physical bodies are in a constant fluctuation, always processing, digesting, surviving in such elegant, coordinated systems. and then our minds... our selves. each situation brings a new realm of knowledge previously un-existing to us. each moment our minds have changed, even if from the simple act of processing the previous moment. change is, in so many ways, synonymous with life.
taking this all for granted, these constantly changing selves and worlds, i'll feel a monotonous drone as i too-often find that an entire week has gone by without my conscious presence. one week. the entire lifespan of most moths, and i'll have spent that prescious time on auto-pilot. wakeless. changeless
but this week... this week has been a present one. a changing one. i've regained a long-missing awareness of my physical body and its beautiful systems. i'll treat them right, they'll treat me right. i've found myself more internally aware of my places in my life, and my happiness or unhappiness with them.
where there is unhappiness there is change. and where there is awareness and acceptance of change, there is happiness. there is life.


good words, strong words

dear brothers and sisters,
dear enemies and friends,

why are we all so alone here
all we need is a little more hope, a little more joy
all we need is a little more light, a little less weight, a little more freedom.
if we were an army, and if we believed that we were an army
and we believed that everyone was scared like little lost children in their grown up clothes and poses
so we ended up alone here floating through long wasted days, or great tribulations.
while everything felt wrong
good words, strong words, words that could've moved mountains
words that no one ever said
we were all waiting to hear those words and no one ever said them
and the tactics never hatched
and the plans were never mapped
and we all learned not to believe
and strange lonesome monsters loafed through the hills wondering why
and it is best to never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever wonder why
so tangle - oh tangle us up in bright red ribbons!
let's have a parade
it's been so long since we had a parade, so let's have a parade!
let's invite all our friends
and all our friends' friends!
let's promenade down the boulevards with terrific pride and light in our eyes
twelve feet tall and staggering
sick with joy with the angels there and light in our eyes
brothers and sisters, hope still waits in the wings like a bitter spinster
impatient, lonely and shivering, waiting to build her glorious fires
it's because of our plans man; our beautiful ridiculous plans
let's launch them like careening jetplanes
let's crash all our planes in the river
let's build strange and radiant machines at this jericho waiting to fall.

~from 'built then burnt' by thee silver mt zion orchestra and tra la la band


the beauty of a palindromic acronym

i have a crush, oh boy, do i have a crush. who he is is fairly insignificant and he shall be known only as m.m.o.m.m (mystery.man.of.my.mind). but, man oh man is he of my mind... our paths have crossed once or twice, and surely will again, and until then, he will randomly stumble through my thoughts as i stumble through my day.
i'm fairly certain he, like most, is currently with another, alas, but what is a crush but a harmless romp into the realm of hopes and standards that are never to be met with real possibilty, for it is that meeting that is the end of the crush and too often the beginning of disappointment.
aahh, but for now, i'm miles away from that disappointment. for now i'll camp out where i can doodle little hearts in the margins and daydream about our next encounter.


summer is abound

there is summer on the calendar, there is summer in the air, and there is summer in the hearts of my loved ones... big things are on the verge, but the laid back afternoons are happily the priority.
i'm always amazed at how, with the shifting of the seasons, there too is a shifting of our selves, our moods, our desires. the frantic energy of spring has dulled slightly and is now settling into a peace and a happiness that we can all wrap ourselves in. there is a comfort in the air, in the warmth, even in the word itself. summer.
my arms are wide with welcome.
as i'm coming out of a too-long slumber of emotion and creativity, i'm opening my eyes to that fact that my slumber was not a lone one, regardless of how often it felt so. the wakening of my friends' spirits is as joyous to me as my own. for some i'm watching from the sidelines with a proud smile, and with others i couldn't feel more intertwined. but we are all feeling it.
big things are indeed on the verge, and i'm happy to not be anxious for them. in due time, as with all.
for now i have my begbie and my books. i have my wine and my will shortz.
and i have my summer and my friends.


i've been given a little push.

i resisted this for a long time. i've held this world at arm's length and am still a little trepidatious about it, but why dip your toe when you can jump in, full-bodied.
there is a lot to share, to learn, to meet... there is a lot.
our zen brothers and sisters tell us that we have 'enough' always 'enough' yet i'm now entering the sea of 'more' always 'more'.
it will be fun to let myself drift for a while...
thanks to all who've unknowingly helped get me where i am, which is here.