i find it very easy to push aside my knitting for what intends to be a short time while i work on the more pressing tasks of any given day, knowing that at the very least i can squeeze a few rows in during charlie rose before i go to sleep. but too often even that feels labored and forced for fear of guilt...
this is not right. i do not knit to not feel guilty for not knitting. i knit because i love the process. i love the making. i love the pattern. i love the knitting. it is mathematical and it is creative. it is what i am made for.
yet i push it aside with little hesitation. i easily take it for granted that i can push hold on this and be able to un-hold again later, picking right up where i've left it.
but it rarely works this smoothly.
i know i am not the only one who struggles with this balance. the ever-shifting fulcrum plagues us many. yet i feel so naked when my humanity shows.
at 10:54 PM
this has been a week. of. i'm not sure i even have the right words for what this week has meant to me, to my friends, to my country. i have renewed faith in my homeland, and i feel weight lifting from my shoulders and from my heart. this weight, now, is proudly and ambitiously upon the shoulders of a capable leader. for the first time in many years (say, eight or so?) i feel the direct connection between my daily life, my personal turmoil and triumph, and the grander happenings of my government and my country. i've missed this connection. it feels right again.
at 12:44 PM